Yet you may still find yourself wondering whether they have eaten properly, whether they are feeling lonely or how they manage once the front door closes behind you.

The idea of someone sharing their home can feel reassuring to you. There would be another person around, some everyday company and a helping hand with practical tasks.

But what happens when your parent doesn’t want it?

You may see the benefits clearly, while they see a loss of privacy, a change to their routines or the uncomfortable prospect of living with someone they don’t yet know. Finding a way forward starts with understanding both perspectives.

Your reassurance matters—and so does their choice

Wanting your parent to have company and support comes from a place of care. However, they are the person who would be sharing their home.

What feels like reassurance to you may feel like a loss of independence to them. If conversations focus mainly on your worries, your parent may feel they are being asked to change their life to make everyone else feel better.

Try starting with how life feels for them:

“What do you enjoy about living on your own? Is there anything you find harder, or any time you wish you had some company?”

Their answers may be different from what you expect.

Find out what sits behind the “no”

“I don’t want someone living here” can mean many things.

Your parent might worry about having to cook for another person, make conversation all evening or change how they use their own home. They may be concerned about their belongings, visitors or whether they could end an arrangement that wasn’t working.

You could say:

“When you think about sharing, what would worry you most?”

Listen before offering solutions. Some concerns can be addressed through clear agreements and careful matching. Others may simply mean that sharing is not something they want.

Talk about what they might gain

Rather than saying, “You shouldn’t be on your own,” try connecting the conversation to something your parent has said they would appreciate.

“You mentioned that cooking for one feels like a chore. How would you feel about someone helping prepare supper and sharing a meal with you a few evenings a week?”

Or:

“I know you enjoy your own space, but you’ve said the evenings can feel long. Would you be interested in hearing how Homeshare works?”

Keep the possibilities realistic. A Sharer has their own life and commitments. They offer agreed companionship and practical help; they are not a carer or a source of round-the-clock support.

Make the first step small

Hearing about Homeshare does not have to mean agreeing to it.

You might say:

“You don’t have to make a decision. We could have a chat with a Homeshare agency, ask your questions and see what you think.”

If your parent is interested, they should be involved in choosing a potential Sharer and discussing how the arrangement would work. Knowing that they can decide who shares their home and agree expectations beforehand may help them feel more comfortable.

Leave room for an honest answer

Sometimes, after talking it through, your parent will still say no. That can be difficult when you remain worried, but repeatedly raising the subject can leave them feeling pressured.

You can keep the conversation open:

“I understand that you don’t want to share your home. If you ever feel differently, we can look at it again. In the meantime, let’s talk about what support you would welcome.”

At Share and Care Homeshare, we are happy to talk with families and answer questions. We know that it can take time for a parent to feel comfortable with the idea and see what it might offer them.

Sometimes families contact us only after a parent has had a fall or spent time in hospital and feels less confident about living alone. We encourage people to explore their options earlier, while there is time to consider them calmly and make choices together.

Our advice is to start with a gentle conversation. It may give your parent something to think about, without asking them to decide before they are ready.

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* Information correct February 2026

Attendance Allowance is a crucial, yet often over-looked, benefit for people over State Pension age. It helps with extra costs if you have a disability or health condition severe enough that you need someone to help look after you.

Payments are not means-tested so your income and any savings don’t affect your eligibility; Attendance Allowance is based on you and how your condition affects you. Being in receipt of Attendance Allowance also potentially unlocks other support.

This benefit can make a real difference to your finances, helping to cover the cost of care, daily support and other such related needs.

Eligibility

You can get Attendance Allowance if you have reached State Pension Age and the following apply:

• you have a physical disability (including sensory disability, for example blindness), a mental disability (including learning difficulties), or a health condition
• your disability or health condition is severe enough for you to need help caring for yourself or someone to supervise you, for your own or someone else’s safety
• you have needed that help for at least 6 months

Payments

It’s paid at two different rates with the rate depending on the level of care that you need because of your disability or health condition; a lower rate for day or night help, and a higher rate for both day and night, or if you’re terminally ill.

Currently the rates are either £73.90 or £110.40 a week, and the payments are to help with personal support if both of the following apply:

• you have a physical disability, a mental disability, or a health condition
• you’re State Pension Age, or older

It does not cover mobility needs.

You could get extra Pension Credit, Housing Benefit or Council Tax Reduction if you get Attendance Allowance.

You do not have to have someone caring for you in order to claim.

How Does it Work?

When applying for Attendance Allowance, the key is how it affects you.

• Focus on Care Needs:It’s about needing help with things like dressing, eating, washing, getting to the toilet, bathing, walking, or needing supervision for safety.
• What to Include:Detail the specific help you need, when you need it, why you need it, and for how long, using a diary can help. Don’t leave things out just because no one helps you yet – focus on what you struggle with, particularly on bad days. You do not need a formal assessment by social services, but you must show that you’ve required help for at least six months.
• Don’t Miss Out:Many people are eligible but don’t claim Attendance Allowance due to confusion over whether they are eligible, or the complexity of the application.
• Detailed Forms:The application is long, but be thorough and don’t be embarrassed about personal needs.

How to Apply;

Visit www.gov.uk or a support charity (such as Age UK, Citizen’s Advice) to download the form and start detailing your needs.

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