We were delighted to read this lovely story from a daughter of one of our elderly clients and hope it can be shared and read giving reassurance and hope to people and families living with dementia….
“My dad lived on his own and it was becoming increasingly apparent that he was struggling with many daily chores due to his progressing dementia. He couldn’t manage with keys anymore and therefore the house was left unlocked at all times. He couldn’t cook safely anymore and was struggling with household tasks. He was fed up with ‘ready meals’ and wanted company.
Although he had carers coming in twice a day, he was very lonely and getting anxious, especially in the evenings.
In desperation I was looking for a solution that could work for dad. Dad was on a low income and couldn’t afford expensive support; he is eligible for social service support, but at the time this only amounted to two half-hour visits a day for medication and a little personal care.
Then I stumbled upon Share & Care. This seemed like a perfect solution and dad was interested in finding out more and willing to give it a try.
It was with trepidation that we took the huge leap into the unknown.
Caroline and Amanda worked hard to find a match for dad and the day Fliss walked into dad’s house for the first time to meet us, was the start of a wonderful experience.
Fliss moved in and slowly but surely dad’s life started to turn around, as did those of close family members who began to relax and not worry so much about dad being totally on his own, especially overnight.
A cheery face from Fliss to greet him every morning, to share a cup of tea, before departing for work. Then, at the end of the day, a warm homecoming; dad very pleased to see Fliss, to share her lovely home cooked meals, to help wash up and to have someone to talk too – to share news of the day, even if most had been forgotten by dad! Fliss has a wonderful manner with dad, never gets flustered, and takes everything in her stride.
Then the serious stuff; when dad started getting confused when out for his regular walks and he got lost and was missing for a few hours, Fliss was able to contact family first to let them know that he was missing and not in house when she got back from work. Then, when dad was eventually found and returned home in a police car, Fliss was the reassuring face to welcome him home with a cup of tea and to chat to police and contact family. This happened several times.
Recently this has escalated to the extent that dad is no longer safe on his own and needs 24 hour support. But the timing has been great as Fliss has got promotion at work and has saved up enough money to put a deposit on her own flat.
If we hadn’t found Share & Care, dad would have ended up in a care home months ago. We would never had considered live-in care to be an option. We have now arranged live-in care and Fliss is staying awhile to ensure we have a smooth transition.
The support we have had from Caroline and Amanda has been instrumental in making this work.
In dad’s words, “Fliss is part of the family!”
We will be sad to see Fliss go but know it is the right time for her and dad [who is now going to have 24/7 care].
Share & Care is a wonderful concept and in these times of ever-decreasing social care budgets and unaffordable housing, it is the perfect solution to stem the misery of loneliness for vulnerable people and to provide cheap accommodation for those willing to share their lives. It has been such an enriching experience for my dad and for all our family.
Thank Caroline and Amanda; you have made part of dad’s journey through dementia a very positive experience.
Best Wishes
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My Mother had Homesharers very successfully over 20 years ago and never had to progress to full time care – she had 2homesharers for last few months.